How to Get Teachers to Actually Support Your Child’s Behavior Plan

You worked hard to get your child the support they need at school—maybe through an IEP, 504 plan, or a behavior plan created with input from teachers and specialists. You felt hopeful that things would improve, but now…

😟 The teacher isn’t following through.
🤷 The strategies in the plan aren’t being used.
😔 Your child is still struggling, and no one seems to have answers.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many parents of neurodivergent children experience frustration when schools don’t follow behavior plans as expected. The good news? There are ways to advocate effectively—without creating conflict or feeling like "that parent."

Why Schools Struggle to Follow Behavior Plans

Before assuming teachers don’t care, let’s consider some common challenges:

🔹 Lack of Training: Many teachers don’t receive specialized training in behavior management, especially for neurodivergent students.
🔹 Overwhelmed Classrooms: With 20+ kids to manage, individualized support can fall through the cracks.
🔹 Too Complicated Plans: If a plan is hard to implement, teachers may unintentionally skip steps or revert to old habits.
🔹 Limited Support: Some schools lack the resources or staff to properly follow through.

How to Get Your Child’s Behavior Plan Implemented

The key is collaboration, not confrontation. Here’s how you can ensure your child gets the support they need—without burning bridges. 

1️⃣ Build a Positive Relationship with the Teacher

✅ Start with gratitude: “I appreciate all you do for my child.”
✅ Acknowledge their challenges: “I know you have a lot on your plate, and I truly appreciate you working with us.”
✅ Frame it as teamwork: “How can we make this plan easier to use in the classroom?”

🌟 Pro Tip: If possible, schedule a quick check-in meeting rather than relying only on emails. Face-to-face or Zoom conversations often lead to better collaboration.

2️⃣ Keep It Simple & Focus on Key Strategies

If the teacher isn’t following the behavior plan, it might be too complex to realistically implement.

✅ Ask: “Which parts of the plan feel doable, and where are the challenges?”
✅ Prioritize the most impactful strategies rather than trying to enforce everything at once.
✅ Offer simple tools (visual schedules, checklists, or quick-reference guides) that make it easier to follow the plan in a busy classroom.

3️⃣ Involve the School Support Team

If the teacher isn’t following through, loop in the special education team, school counselor, or administrator.

✅ Keep the tone positive: “I just want to check in and see how we can all work together.”
✅ Ask about barriers—sometimes, a lack of training or resources is the real issue.
✅ Request regular updates to track progress and ensure accountability.

4️⃣ Document & Follow Up

If things aren’t improving, documentation is key.

✅ Keep a record of emails, meeting notes, and behavior incidents.
✅ If the plan isn’t being followed, request a formal meeting to address concerns.
✅ Use “we” language to keep it collaborative: “I want to make sure we’re all on the same page so [Child’s Name] can succeed.”

🌟 Pro Tip: If your child is struggling emotionally because of lack of support, request a team meeting ASAP rather than waiting for the next scheduled check-in.

Advocating for your child at school can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. When you approach teachers with collaboration, clarity, and consistency, you increase the chances that your child’s behavior plan will actually be followed.

✅ Action Step: If you’re feeling stuck, email the teacher today with this simple check-in:

"Hi [Teacher’s Name], I wanted to touch base about [Child’s Name]’s behavior plan. How are things going in the classroom? Are there any challenges we can work through together? Let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you as well. Thanks for all you do!"

By keeping the conversation open, positive, and proactive, you set the stage for real change—and help your child thrive. 💙